Newsflash

Photo by Reece van der Merwe on Unsplash

One of the greatest misunderstandings of unrealistic expectations, is when we expect that our partners won’t expect as much as we expect from them. Isn’t it wild how we’re always focused on what the other person should bring to the relationship, while we subconsciously settle for bringing ‘not what our partners would expect or demand, or require or need’ but what we think is comfortable and convenient for us to bring.

We often (by human default) try to love people the way we like—the way that’s most convenient for us, and we think that because we love them, that that should be enough for them; after all, we genuinely love them, even though for many of us, our idea of love has been diluted by our traumatic experiences with our families, our past relationships and even our fears from what we’ve seen in other people’s relationships and marriages.

The “high standards” we desire in a partner might just be the tip of the iceberg of what their expectations are from us; and demanding high standards should be the barest minimum when going into a relationship, because we’re meant to spur each other on to greater works of genuine love. But if we’re always focused on what the other person has to be and to give, and we’re not willing and ready to give our ALL into being the kind of person they desire and deserve, then we’re just hypocrites and thieves, because what we truly want are people who can satisfy our desires while we give our barest minimum in return. That’s witchcraft. That’s wickedness!

The minute I realized that my desire to love isn’t so that my desire to be loved should be satisfied, was the very moment I began to learn what true love was truly about. In fact, by going all out to love others unconditionally, my desire to be loved is fully satisfied, because the fullness of love isn’t about receiving, it's about giving; and giving my all every time without restraint, manipulation and/or begrudgingly. Love is a privilege of continual selfless service; and until we’re ready to truly work on our self-centredness, we’ll keep getting it wrong and we’ll continue ending up being disappointed by our unrealistic expectations that are self-seeking and selfish; because these sort of expectations are predicated on SELF and not selfless SERVICE.

— With Love,From Love 💖

Side Note:

This isn’t a ploy to play down our desires to be truly loved. If two people who are genuinely selfless and are truly submitted to Jesus find each other, we won’t have to worry if our partners are playing their part to love us as Christ teaches us that love should be administered.

Love is the most beautiful thing on earth. I found myself half asleep, thinking on a sentence from John 3:16, and that’s the line that says; “for GOD sooooooooooo loved the world...”. Love loves with a picture of redemption in view and an expectation of reconciliation unaskewed. In love, there’s forgiveness, there’s patience, there’s kindness, there’s joy unspeakable, there’s peace, there’s clarity and there’s direction. Love keeps no record of wrongs and it does not boast based off of its own works. Love is neither malicious nor vengeful! Love is selfless.

Side Bar:

I’m rebuilding my prayer playlist and I thought I’d share it with you, because that’s what love does ☺️. Available only on Spotify.