Withering Leaves
...Still Bloom In Season
There’s something about trying to pinpoint precisely what we want in a relationship, that paralyzes our thought process completely. I’ve realized that what I wanted in my 20’s isn’t quite what I’ve come to need now that I’m approaching 40.
The kind of Woman I desired in my 20’s, the qualities I desired, evolved as I began to know Christ more and to know myself more in Him. I realized that the peak of my desires were just the barest minimum for what ABBA truly wants for me.
Marriage isn’t something we jump into recklessly. Personally, I’m not capable of choosing a life partner by myself, without and outside of GOD. I’m not that wise. Jesus writes the most beautiful love stories and I trust Him to write mine. The One who saw and said that it wasn’t good for man to be alone, the One that brought a Wife to Adam, isn’t deaf or dumb, or blind. What if there’s still so much we need to unlearn and learn anew before GOD can entrust us with a spouse.
What if we’re not as ready and as equipped as we’d like to think. What if in our current state, we’re the weapon fashioned against someone else. What if we’re just too proud or too ignorant to see that it’s not about time running out, but more about us coming into full alignment with GOD. What if we're just still too selfish to see that marriage is a full-time ministry and it's not about us.
Can I be honest; marriage scares me. Not because of the responsibilities of being someone’s husband or father, but just the mere fact that I might not be well equipped yet to foster someone else’s destiny when I’m still trying to figure out mine. I don’t want to get married for the fun of it. Marriage is the first point of ministry, that as a man, I need to get right, in order to get right with GOD. Marrying the right person is so vital, but being the right person that someone marries is even more important. I’ll end with this train of thought; do I want to get married because I desire certain levels of emotional, sexual and physical satisfaction, or do I want to get married because I’m ready to serve someone else and prioritize someone else above all else, including me for the rest of my life?
That’s the question I leave you with. I know most people desire “their person”, but in our waiting season, it’s time we make honest assessments of our mental, emotional, physical, financial & spiritual wellbeing before we drag someone else into our lives, for life.
— With Love, From Love 💖
Slowly learning that marriage isn’t about me or what I want.